Running to Stand Still

Yes, it's long and musing. There is a point at the end, though, I promise!

"Abel" did not gain very much weight before his 2-day visit, so the doctor decreed that he should eat every 2 hours. Abel is also a lazy nurser. He generally likes to eat about 20 minutes per side. This means that out of every 2 hours, I have been spending roughly 50 minutes in the process of feeding, burping, and changing him. Luckily, with the Thanksgiving break, Ben and the older girls have been around much of the time to help. My mom has also been amazing. I have sometimes lamented the fact that she doesn't just come to stay for a whole week after the birth of a baby, but I think it's better this way. She didn't come for an entire week, but she can still come when I need her past the first week.

Anyway, I think Abel is putting on weight nicely now. I don't have a scale, but his cheeks sure seem chubbier to me! The past couple of days I have sometimes let him stretch 2 1/2 to 3 hours between feedings. This morning, he ate around 9am. Then he actually stayed awake after, which is unusual for him. (He mostly likes to be awake from 11pm to 1am and not much else.) I then tried to put him down for a nap. I laid down with him, and naturally, we both fell asleep. Buster came in when the TV came to a break, which is good because it woke me up. I realized I should make some lunch for Sunny and Buster. I was hoping Abel would continue to sleep for a while, but as I chivvied Buster and Sunny downstairs so they wouldn't be underfoot while cooking, Abel started crying.

I must confess that I often use the television to keep the kids out from underfoot. Sometimes it goes beyond use to abuse, unfortunately. Such was the case this morning. The TV had been on for most of the time from 7am until 11am, except for breakfast. Neither Sunny nor Buster was there the WHOLE time, but they had each watched about 3 hours. So here I am, trying to make lunch. Buster started opening all the cupboards and drawers in the kitchen, and Sunny was whining. After they went downstairs, Sunny was pouting (she wanted me to play with her) and Buster was amusing himself by hitting her and pulling her hair. Abel was crying in his bed. I decided that he could keep crying for a few minutes while I got lunch started.

I served lunch and fed the baby. After lunch, Sunny said she was tired and went downstairs. Buster finished, and I put him down for a nap. Abel, exhausted after his crying spell and waiting for his lunch, zonked out while eating and remained so after I put him in bed.

At about 12:15, I looked around the house. An hour before, three kids had been adamant about needing something! Crying, whining, misbehaving... Now, peace and quiet. I almost didn't know what to do with myself. Now I have had a delightful hour and a half. I put dinner in the Crock-Pot (yay!), did some dishes, and still had time for a peaceful lunch and leisure time in front of the computer. It's about time to get Abel up and feed him again, but now I'm recharged and ready.

I have learned that in parenting, it's often not so much bad days as bad hours. Sometimes it's just a very bad 10 minutes. And sometimes, yes, there are so many bad periods that the whole day seems bad. If I can take a minute to regroup and tell myself it can't last much longer, I somehow survive. Today it was a quick prayer as Abel started crying, and I knew that to cope, he would just have to wait a minute. I'm grateful for the inspiration I receive in this challenging job. And it is crazy to go from insanity to near-boredom in 10 minutes flat. Oh, and now I hear Abel.

Have a great day!

Happy Mother's Day!

Well, it's that time of year again--Mother's Day. It's a day that many women dread, and I must admit, I approached it with a little trepidation myself. Due to some odd coincidence, Ben is often sick on Mother's Day, so I often end up with less help on Mother's Day than on ordinary days. He did wake with a headache today, but he pulled it together and helped a ton with getting the kids ready! It also helped that they canceled the ward leadership meetings.

My family has been great today. The kids have done tons of cute things. I have received multiple bouquets of wildflowers from our yard, and of course they each made a cute thing for me at church. Ben got all the kids in the car after church while I had a few minutes to talk to my friends.

I enjoyed one talk in particular at church today. It was given by a young mother who is also our Primary President. She mentioned two particular lies that Satan likes to feed mothers: the temptation to compare ourselves to other mothers and that we shouldn't take time for ourselves. She had two great quotes about comparison. The first was "The mother in church with the quiet children is probably as surprised as you are." The second was "When we compare, we are often comparing our worst moments to someone else's best moments." On the second point, if we don't take time to refuel ourselves, we have nothing left to give. Well, nothing positive. It seems there is always more criticism and yelling to give, unfortunately. She mentioned that it's also important to ask for help from people and not just God when we are really struggling.

My tangible gift from Ben today was a Kitchen Aid mixer!!! This is something I have been wanting ever since I got married almost 10 years ago. A week or so ago, Ben asked me what I wanted. Although I knew what I wanted, I was silent.

"You want something you think is too expensive, don't you?" asked my perceptive husband.

"Yes," I responded.

"What is it?" he pressed. I told him, but I didn't really expect him to get it for me. I was so pleased. Now I can't wait to find all my kitchen stuff so I can bake!!! (Most of our furniture is in, but our boxes are in the garage.)


Finally, I could not write an entry on Mother's Day without expressing gratitude and admiration for the wonderful women who have influenced my life. My own mother, of course, comes to mind first. I am so grateful for all her hard work and effort over the years. Being a young mother is very hard work, and she did it so well. My mother possesses a gift for loving and enjoying little children, and she is so good at making them feel special. Although I don't have many memories of early childhood, almost all of my memories are of my mother and her kindness towards me. She showed me such an example that I hope that I can cherish each of my little ones as much as she cherished her own and her grandchildren. My mother also did a marvelous job of teaching us the gospel through her words and actions. Again, I hope I can follow her example.

I love to spend time with my mom even more now that I am grown. I am so grateful for all the help and support she gives me. We lived with her for over a little over a month between houses, and while I'm glad to be in my own house again, I miss seeing her so often.

I am also grateful to all of Ben's mothers. Barbara and Kay both influenced him so much and taught him so well. Our children love their Grandma Terry very much, and I enjoy my time with her, as well. She has been giving us excellent decorating advice on our new home, which I appreciate. Her home is so beautiful!

My grandmothers also come to mind. I could wax rhapsodic, but I think I've gone on long enough. Suffice it to say that I am grateful for them and the time they have spent with me and the things they have taught me. I'm also glad they did a good job raising their children so they could raise me!

I hope that all you mothers have a very Happy Mother's Day. May you each remember, no matter how you may feel about this day, that you are special, and that even if you are not doing a perfect job as a mother, you are the perfect mother for your children.

Why I love my jobs

I have 2 jobs: Mom and Realtor.

I love being Mom because there are no better rewards on the planet! There is just nothing like lying in bed with your baby on a lazy Saturday morning and smiling at each other--especially if your spouse is there, too! I like tickles, giggles, snuggles, and hugs, all of which are right around when you want them. I know yesterday I was complaining, but that is part of any job. There are good days, and there are not so good days. Days when you think you have the best job in the world, and days when you think you do not want to ever go back to that job.

Kandy said something quietly the other day, and I made her repeat it. Sheepishly she admitted to saying something about wishing she didn't have sisters. I'm sure she was expecting a lecture about needing to love her sisters all the time. Instead I told her honestly that there are moments I wish I didn't have kids. I sure wouldn't trade them for anything!!! But Ben and I say that sometimes we wish we could just visit the newlywed phase again.

Anyway, I also love the joy in watching my children accomplish something. I love watching them grow and become independent. With a busy day in real estate and Ben gone, they made their own lunch! They help each other and encourage each other. And there is no sweeter sound than my baby's laughter.

I like being a Realtor because I get paid to look at houses. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I've seen houses that make me drool, and I've seen houses that send me running and screaming for my hand sanitizer. There is also great satisfaction in helping people find a new home. When I get a house under contract or closed, there is a great sense of accomplishment. I love that my paying job allows plenty of time for my kids and family. There are spurts of wild and frenetic activity, but there are large lulls, too. If I don't want to answer my phone, I don't have to. I love having a reason to associate with other adults to discuss things other than sleeping, potty training, and losing teeth.

And speaking of jobs, I really should back to work on both of them!