When Robin Leaves...

Robin was gone to singing practice, and I had one child clean, one child in the bath, and the youngest crying in his crib. I settled down the baby and went back to the bathroom and found the 4 year old clean and standing naked on the mat. Buster was in the bath fully clothed. Shoes, coat, and all! Ain't parenthood great?

Ben

More Quotes

Sunny, about her pajamas: "This dress is perfect for princess and prince-ing. You can be the giant prince, and I will be the tiny princess."

Quotable Quotes XXVIII Sticky Sunny

Sunny, on getting dressed right after her bath:

"I'm sticky. You have to be sticky for church so you don't be silly with your clothes, huh? That's why we have baths is to get sticky for church."

Abel Rolled!

As I posted earlier today, Abel is 3 months old. I just set him on his stomach, and he lifted up his head really well. I looked away for a minute, and when I looked again, he was on his back! I put him back on his stomach, and he rolled over again. And again!

Abel 3 months

Abel is 3 months old today!

Resolution

It's interesting how much easier it is to offer my children healthy foods and less junk food than it is to do it for myself. I have a major weakness when it comes to sugar and chocolate. I wish I could be more like Ben! At the party on Monday night, he stood around snacking on carrots. I stood around snacking on lemon bars, frog-eye salad, and cookies. If there is sugar in the house, I will find it and eat it. In the absence of good treats, I will eat chocolate chips. If those are all gone, I have been known to take a spoon and go after straight brown sugar. I don't sit down with the bag, I just eat a spoonful here and there. I know I really should be better. I know that I should eat more fruits and vegetables and less fats and sugars. When I'm hungry, though, it's so hard. I just want to grab what tastes good and what I can eat quickly. The same lack of time that prohibits careful thought or preparation of my snacks also makes time for exercise tough to come by.

I have known that this could shorten my life expectancy, but in the moment, it's hard to think of the future. All I think of is what would taste yummy right now. And honestly, I'm not thrilled with the idea of getting old. I visit teach some pretty old sisters (2 of them have died since I started visiting them a few years ago), and so visiting them can be pretty depressing. The other option of dying young, though, has little to recommend it, either.

Now, however, my thoughts have changed. One of my friends is in the hospital, and it doesn't look too good for her. She was having some issues with her kidneys, and she has now contracted a blood infection. Her health has deteriorated significantly since I met her 5 years ago. She has 4 living children. The oldest is married, the second is a return missionary, the third (a girl) is out of high school, but the fourth is still a teenager. On Sunday, I saw this teenage daughter, and she looks as though she has been stricken a mortal blow. As I saw the look on her face, it made me truly appreciate how valuable my life is in the eyes of my children. What dreaming of being thinner or the general sense of my own mortal risk hasn't done, the look on her face managed to do. For the first time, I have a sincere interest in changing my habits in an attempt to improve my chances of a long life.

I fight an uphill battle against heart disease because it runs so strongly in my family. Heart attacks, strokes, high blood pressure and cholesterol are pretty much a matter of course. My own cholesterol when tested 3 years ago made my doctor prescribe some strict diet changes for me. Did I do them? Not really. That was partly because I got pregnant shortly after and resorted to the "I'll eat anything that doesn't make me feel icky" mentality. Now I wish I could find that paper! In the meantime, though, I'm starting by trying to eat fruits and veggies for snacks instead of junk food. I ate two servings of carrots for snacks yesterday and an orange this morning.

I had thought in the past of putting some visual to remind me of being thinner on my cupboards or fridge to remind myself of my goals and discourage snacking. Now, however, the memory of my young friend's face comes up each time I want to make a poor decision. I want to be a part of my children's lives as long as possible. I want to be there when they become adults. I want to see and enjoy my grandchildren.

I am praying that my friend recovers to remain here with her family. However, I am also praying that they will be comforted in the event that it is her time to return to her Maker. Regardless of the outcome, though, I hope the memory of her daughter's fear and helplessness continues to motivate me to do what I can to prolong my life.

Crazy Valentine's Weekend

We had a wild and fun weekend! On Friday, Kandy was going straight home with a friend for a sleepover, and Missy and Sunny had assessments for the gifted program. It was right in the middle of Missy's short day. Between that and not having Kandy to walk home from the bus with, we decided she would just miss school. My mom watched the boys in the morning while we went to the assessment. In the afternoon, my friend had volunteered to take all the kids for a massive playdate. I stayed home with Abel and made Missy's birthday cake. (Her birthday was last week, but her friend has the same birthday. Her mom and I decided that she could have her party last week, and Missy would have hers on the 13th.)

So I cooked and cleaned. We had arranged with another friend to watch the kids Friday evening so we could have our Valentine date. Ben was on his way home from work when the car totally stalled in the middle of an intersection! Abel was asleep, and the cake was about to come out of the oven. I called a wonderful neighbor and asked if she could help by either getting Ben or staying with the baby and the cake. She went and helped Ben. He got home a little later than planned! About 6:00, I dashed off to pick up the kids from one friend's house and drop them off at the other! I stayed there while Ben prepared a few things for our date.

When I came home, Ben handed me a clue. He had placed clues throughout the house. Each one had a reason he loved me and a riddle to solve about where to find the next clue. It was lots of fun! After the treasure hunt, we had a wonderful home date. We ate grilled steak and played games. It was wonderful to eat steak without listening to the kids complain about whatever I made them! I actually got to taste and savor my dinner. It was fabulous!

On Saturday, we spent the morning in preparation for Missy's birthday party. At 1:00, her friends arrived. We had handed out the invitations rather late, so only 3 guests came. That was fine with me! Including my 3 girls, that made 6. The boys cooperated by sleeping through the whole thing! That evening, we swapped babysitting by watching the 4 kids of my friend who had watched the kids Friday afternoon for their Valentine date.

Sunday was pretty quiet and normal. We went to Church in the morning and my parents house in the evening.

Monday afternoon, we swapped babysitting again, watching the 2 kids of our friends who watched our children on Friday night. With the rain and extra kids, it was a crazy afternoon. I was feeling cooped up, so I was happy when I remembered that we had fun plans for the evening! We went to a surprise birthday party in honor of one our friends who turned 30.

Today the kids have still been out of school. Thanks to the glorious weather, they have spent most of the day outside. Missy and Kandy have been riding bikes with our neighbor. She is 11 1/2, so she's a fantastic responsible playmate to have around!

Family Picture

I use Picasa to organize my photos. The latest version has basic photo recognition software and enables you to label the faces in your photos. Then you can search your photos by who is in them. In doing this, I was astonished to discover that the only pictures with Ben, me, and our first 4 children were huge family photos at the Smith Reunion last summer! In an attempt to rectify this, we sat last night for my dad to take some pictures of us. They're not professional, but they are fun to have! The one above is my favorite, but the rest are fun. I'm amazed we got that many of us to look that good in one picture!

Quotable Quotes XXVII

In the bath, Sunny said, "Mommy, I just made a huge wave--a zombie!" I think she was trying to remember the word for tsunami.

Abel laughed!

Broken Health Care

We just finished filling out our tax forms. In so doing, we looked at all the money we spent on health care during the last year. For the vast majority of the year, we were completely uninsured. During the year, Ben had an ER visit, and I was pregnant. I payed something toward my total bill with every OB visit until I had applied for Medicaid. We originally hoped we could pay for the baby ourselves, but the ER visit, the new van, and the new roof really zapped our savings. Anyway, we were horrified and frustrated as we tallied up nearly $6,000 in medical bills! Even more amazing, though, was when we started discussing whether Ben and I should get insurance through his work this year. Last year the premiums for a couple were about $330. Hmmm, $330 times 12 months equals $3,960! That wouldn't include co-pays or other out-of-pocket expenses. For the whole family to be covered costs in the neighborhood of $600. That math comes to $7,200!!! So guess what? We actually SAVED money by not having health insurance.

I was actually quite grateful for this epiphany. I have felt bad and guilty about not having health insurance. It hasn't stopped me from getting my kids to the doctor for their well visits and shots, and we have all received the care we need. In fact, we have received substantial discounts because we have tried to pay up-front as much as possible. For my ultrasound, I was charged less than 50% what they would have charged insurance, and then they even gave me a partial refund after the fact.

Obamacare isn't the answer to this mess. There is a fantastic article I read a few months ago. I may have referenced it here, but if you haven't read it yet, you should: How American Health Care Killed My Father by David Goldhill.

There are several points of his that I want to bring up, however. One of the major problems that the author, David Goldhill, mentions is the "invisible" costs. Those who have insurance spend way more money on health care than those without. The difference is that it's not their money!

Also, Goldhill gives an example of the exorbitant costs that we actually pay through premiums and lost paycheck money due to the employer's share of the healthcare premiums.

Government funded healthcare isn't the answer, either. Other government-paid health care systems have grown at a similar rate to our own. Besides, who pays the government? US! It's still not free--the cost is just hidden from us.

As I re-read it, I find tons that I would love to quote. I can't quote it all, but I do have to share this one: "We all believe we need comprehensive health insurance because the cost of care—even routine care—appears too high to bear on our own. But the use of insurance to fund virtually all care is itself a major cause of health care’s high expense."

If you want to read his wonderful solution, jump to page 6.

So what did we do with Ben's enrollment at work? We signed the waiver and said we wouldn't pay insurance premiums. We just hope that nothing really major goes wrong before we can find room in our budget to pay for medical savings and a catastrophic plan.

Abel 2 months

Abel had his 2 month appointment on January 20th, but it has taken me a while to post it!

Weight: 11 lbs, 12 oz.; 50th percentile
Height: 23 1/2 inches; 75th percentile
Head: 39 cm; 25th percentile

He is growing and developing so well! He loves to smile and coo. Now if I can just get him to sleep through the night.