Monday, January 10, 2011
Why I Love Companionship Inventory
When I was a missionary, we were told that every week, we should sit down and discuss anything that was bothering us about our companion.
Since Ben and I are both return missionaries, this has continued as part of our marriage. Every Sunday night, we sit down together. We discuss the schedule for the week, look at our finances, track our progress on goals, and finally, we bring up anything that is bugging us about each other.
I prize this time together. Being on the same page with schedules helps the whole family. During Family Home Evening, we summarize anything that may affect the kids, and they tell us anything we forgot. This minimizes surprises during the week. Keeping tabs on finances and goals keeps us united or gives an opportunity to resolve any differences in what we want to spend our money on. On the occasions where something is really bothering me about Ben or our relationship, we have an automatic time built in to discuss these things instead of uttering the dreaded phrase "we need to talk."
Finances and relationship issues can be so emotionally based. When they come up, we're not always thinking straight, and we can say things we regret. If there is a relationship issue, I take a few days to calm down. Sometimes I realize it's not really worth bringing up. Often, though, it just gives me time to contemplate the best way to talk about it. In this environment, we can approach things with concern and love, and rarely do we feel attacked or get defensive, both of which prohibit problem solving.
I am grateful for my mission for a lot of reasons, and the fact that it taught me this principle is one of them. Ben and I have a very happy marriage, and I'm sure this is one of the reasons why. I look forward to this time each week. More often than not, we don't have any relationship issues to talk about, but when they come up, we have a great way to deal with it.